Every other day, every other day,
Every other day of the week is fine, yeah
But whenever Monday comes, but whenever Monday comes
You can find me cryin’ all of the time…
The Mamas & the Pappas
This is how I feel about Monday today.
I have 4 days until my first SG visit for my mock transfer. I have one more delestrogen injection. Even though I did my own injects for my last IVF cycle (with good lining and decent albeit odd looking egg production), I still worry that I am doing something wrong. This has prompted some frantic phone calls to MO2 (who is away for a military nursing course until the end of July).
The delestrogen is more viscous than lupron, making it harder to draw up into the syringe. I have to do it a few times to get the right amount (.2 cc) into the vial. Then I was stabbing myself in the belly (a la lupon) only to discover that it is an IM injection and I should have been stabbing myself in the leg. Oops. MO2 says not to worry about this, all it will affect is the dilution slightly. Last night, I used my leg and bled on my shorts (oh well, it is proof that I did it).
I hope my lining looks OK on Thursday. I hope I get accepted into the program (probably a 95% chance of this). I hope I stop worrying. IFers worry more about conception than the average person. I would say that this feeling that the other shoe could drop, that something horrible will happen is the worst thing about IF. All the happy naivete that the, “oops, I’m pregnant” people have is lost to us. Today I resolve not to worry about things so much. Before I know it, Thursday will be here.
Blue days, all of them gone
Nothin’ but blue skies from now on
(Blue skies smilin’ at me
Nothin’ but blue skies do I see)
Thank you, Irving Berlin!