DSS is here with us. He is an absolutely lovely 17.5 year old.
He has no life skills. I find it very disturbing. He doesn’t go to school, he doesn’t drive, he can’t structure himself, he barely manages money.
He does know what to do in an emergency, he can cook microwaveable food, he works hard when you tell him what and how to do things, he doesn’t drink, do drugs or is sexually active. He is polite and interacts well with people (most of the time), he is helpful, he is kind. He is good with little kids.
Did I mention he has a 139 IQ?
His mother does absolutely no teaching. He describes her as, “more of a friend than a parent.” This is clear as she is the kind of friend that doesn’t take you for glasses (when you are very far-sighted) for 6 freakin’ months or make you go to school. Some friend. I find the whole thing absolutely shameful.
(To give some perspective: I went to a Montessori preschool because my mother wanted me to learn “useful skills” like polishing silver. I could cook a full dinner by age 10; bathe, diaper , feed and babysit younger sibs by age 10 and was working mostly full-time EVERY summer of my life since age 12, until I finished school. I’ve never been unemployed except for 1 month in my adult life and that was when I returned from Bosnia and had to wait for my job to start). MO2 worked part time through high school, lived alone starting at age 16, joined the Navy at 17 and has been in one branch of the Armed Forces since then (except for the 4 years he was in college and then he worked as much as his coursework would allow).
So we’re starting from scratch. DSS is learning to cook two dinners of his choice 2x a week during his visit (with 100% supervision), passing his GED (we’ve been doing GED prep every day he has been here) and doing home improvement chores with MO2.
His goal is to go to a vo-tech program for auto body design. We have told him quite bluntly that we will not pay for college unless he is here so we can see him go (given his track record). He is 18 in September. His child support ends then. I will continue with the life skills curriculum until he returns to KS. We can’t work on driving until he turns 18 because in our state, you have to wait until 18 if you are a drop out. He’ll go home before he turns 18.
I can only hope and pray that he makes some good choices for himself. I just don’t know what else to do besides love him, be supportive but firm and hope for the best.
My u/s last week showed that my cerclage is holding fast and both boys are doing fine.
My modified bedrest is going as well as can be expected. I look forward to MO2 leaving every day because the house is my own and can sneak little chores in here and there that he has yet to notice. If left to his own devices, he would drive me CRAZY with the hovering. I try to do one little trip per day without excessive standing as okayed by my OB. I am also allowed to go to the movies and go to restaurants occasionally as long as I take it easy. This makes me insanely happy.
MO2 is leaving this weekend for KS to pick up DSS, so once he gets here, I will get more done because DSS can lift things for me, plus he’s damn good company. I’ve been really busy working from home and I don’t mind it at all because it gives me something to do. I go to work once per week for my u/s and try to get away with dropping off paperwork. I got yelled at however, for wearing my uniform, because putting on boots puts stress on my cervix. I prefer to wear my uniform because I get treated better but am willing to give that up.
I’ve been busy organizing the babies’ room and unpacking my Ebay purchases into their dresser. It is not really a nursery yet, we still have to take down DSS’s loft bed (he moved to the front guest bedroom) and the crib won’t be here until July. The bulk of their things are used but the stroller and car seats are new. As the oldest of 5, I realized that baby things, especially new-born items only last so long so why should they get new things? I am, however, working on my knitting so the boys will have new cardigans in the 6-9 month size. if I have time, I will try to do one for my new niece as well.
I went for my u/s on Weds and the boys are growing fine. Rock is 1 lb, 2 oz and Roll is 1 lb, 3 oz. We even got a precious pic of Roll punching Rock in the head! Both babies are still breech. Hearts and brains look fine but unfortunately, my cervix did not.
The tech says, “I don’t like your cervix, I’m going to ask the OB.”
The OB says, “I don’t like your cervix either. I want to see you again on Friday. If it doesn’t improve, you’ll get a cerclage.”
So Thursday was my frantic day trying to catch up on the work I missed during leave and my OB calls and says, “don’t eat or drink anything after midnight just in case we need to do surgery on friday.
Friday morning arrives and my cervix has improved but not enough. OB says he going to do the cerclage because if we miss this opportunity, it will be too late down the road and he won’t be able to stop pre-term labor. Before I know it, I’m in surgery and they put in the cerclage. I had to put my legs in these super mega-stirrups (like the shepherd’s crooks you hang potted plants from). It went well although at one point, my BP dropped and I thought I was going to puke all over MO2’s buddy, the nurse anesthestist. Luckily, he gave me some ephedra and I was ok again.
I was admitted last night for observation. MO2 was exhausted after staying with me all day so I sent him home. I did have a lot of visitors because our Public Health Officers work the 7p-7am shift, so my friend, Gina , visited for 1.5 hours. Another friend visited after morning report this morning before MO2 came to retrieve me.The surgery was a success and now my cervix is measuring 4 inches again. (It had been down to 2). If nothing changes after a couple of weeks of bedrest I might be able to go back to work part-time for 4 hours every other day. The boys are fine!!! They dopplered them every shift and they are doing great. They had to give me 2 percocet for pain yesterday but I haven’t needed any more meds. I still have some bright pink bleeding but that is because they stitched my cervix, it is not from my uterus and it is stopping. I will now have a u/s every week.
I am now on modified bed rest which means that I can drive if I have to, I can make a sandwich, I can do chores sitting down and I can walk for up to 15 minutes at a time. That’s about it. I may not go to work but I can work from home. MO2 has already arranged for some friends to come and check in when he goes to KS to pick up DSS. I am truly hoping that I will do ok and that is the last intervention I will need. It was truly scary because I have not had any symptoms and if I hadn’t gone in for that routine appointment, who knows how this would have gone. I’m just glad they acted quickly and early.
We are happily back from vacation. Vermont was lovely if you didn’t leave the big cities or look too hard. We arrived and it was snowing and left when it was 85 degrees! I was a fan of the fresh local ingredients and Vermonters can brew a cup of coffee! MO2 fell in love with Magic Hat #9 and we had a fun time touring the local brewery. We bought little Magic Hat t-shirts for the boys and a cuddly bear from the Vermont Teddy Bear Factory each.
The boys are kicking away, Rock is a morning kicker while Roll likes to kick at night. I can feel both moving frequently which feels like fizzy soda bubbles. The other night, Roll kicked so hard, my phone fell off my belly. Tomorrow the boys have their echocardiogram, so we’ll pray all goes well with that. I’ve become quite the Craiglist/Ebayer scoring a Lansinoh double breast pump with bag and attachments for $70.00 and a co-sleeper for $50.00.