Monthly Archives: August 2010

A Cautionary Tale


We are doing just fine. The boys are in peds and we are hoping they will come home soon. Both just hit the 7lb mark and eat like champs. As soon as the DR is pleased that they can recover from their occasional desaturations then they will come home to us.

I suppose one of the benefits (and there aren’t many) to having babies in the hospital is a chance to take notice of the little things. Since the babies were born, I have noticed an increase in lability (mostly crying) in my moods. The crying isn’t always related to sadness. I cry when the Down’s Syndrome guy on tv is interviewed, the SPCA commercial with the Sarah McLaughlin song has me in tears in the first 10 seconds and I cry when someone told me I’m a devoted mother.

This is not really me (except for the SPCA commercial). Last week, while driving to the hospital to see the babies, I accidentally hit a pheasant and cried for 25 minutes. I looked up the DSM IV criteria for post partum depression and only had 2 symptoms but that was enough for me. I saw a psychiatrist and got put on effexor, that day.

I don’t need to be a distraught Mom to twins. I also didn’t realize that mothers of multiples were 50% more likely to have PPD. The lesson to this story is listen to your symptoms and ask for help if you need them. Many people told me that my crying was totally symptomatic of new mothers and it would go away with time. It is very uncharacteristic and I got help as soon as I realized that after 3 weeks, it wasn’t just a passing phase.

I’m so glad I did. I feel so much better. If this happens to you or someone you love, don’t wait, get seen.


My Guys


My boys have been kicked out of the NICU!

They are now in Peds working on feeding and growing. Their neonatologist thinks that they will be home by next weekend. They are  taking both breast milk (in bottle form) and formula through their NG tubes. Rock has 4 bottle feedings a day (the rest ng) and Roll has 3. They are off all supplemental oxygen.

This weekend, they will have their car seat challenge in which they will sit in their car seats for 1 hour and the monitor will count how many apnea and bradycardia episodes they have. Rock does have some desaturation when eating but he usually self resolves with no problem. Rock was the sicker twin (despite being the largest). He needed ventilator support for 3 days in the beginning and had to go on lasix to drop his body weight so his lungs could catch up. However, now he is doing great and both boys are over their birth weights.

It does take a toll having babies in the hospital while you are at home. We have pretty much rearranged our lives so we can be there for most of the bottle feedings. I’m back at work half days until they come home. Mostly because the boys are on the same floor where I work and because I don’t want to waste my maternity leave with them in the hospital. We will go on maternity/paternity leave once they come home and are very grateful to our flexible and supportive bosses who let us work our own schedule so we can make time for feedings.

I feel like a pumping machine. Roll will nurse for 10-15 minutes at a time. Rock has no interest in the breast unless it is a pillow! Next week we will spend more time with the lactation consultant. I am pumping every 2-3 hours except at night and drinking my Mother’s Milk tea like a mad woman. my production has improved but is not enough to keep up with every nutritional need. I find this sort of disappointing but expected with twins and as long as I am helping, I try not to let it bother me. I will say the idea of contributing to my sons’ diet is extremely rewarding!